Trip Down Memory Lane

I was watching some of the videos I have on my computer of Jadyn a few days ago when I stumbled upon the video below and decided to upload it to YouTube.  I made this with a bunch of my high school buddies during a production class we were all in.  We had no script; just made it up as we went and actually won a national award for our work!  It is around 9 minutes long, so only watch if you have some time.

Guest Blogger, Andy Borgmann - Guy Love? Crash Into Me? Loneliness in America

Andy Borgmann, Producer of The Allen Hunt Show, is one of my few very close friends - has been for a very long time - will be for an even longer time. I've been wanting to blog about how friendship has impacted my view on the world, but when he posted this blog below, I decided he said it best and that I would copy it directly in my blog. Besides, we all know that I was the one that got Andy blogging (and don't even pretend you don't remember, Borgmann - Hilton Head trip man - that's all you did that whole week was set up your blog!)

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Guy Love? Crash Into Me? Loneliness in America

On Friday night we had a "Tiffany turns 27" / "Andy bought a house in November" party. At one point there were about 35 people there. This surprised me because a.) I didn't think 35 people could fit it my tiny townhome, and b.) it took until 10:30 before somebody showed up that I didn't know.

It got me thinking though. It got me thinking about the movie trailer I saw in 2004 for Crash. I loved that movie. It was a movie about LA and racism. It was unique and brilliant. But it is a line from the trailer, which had relatively little to do with race, that had me hooked. The line was, "In LA, nobody touches you...I think we miss that touch so much that we crash into each other just that we can feel something." I lived in LA. I know this to be true. But it isn't just LA - it's everywhere.

In September I downloaded a song called Car Crash by Matt Nathanson out of the iTunes free single of the week section. I don't normally do this because the music usually sucks, but this one sparked my interest for some reason. It's lyrics are thoughtful. The chorus in particular:

I wanna feel the car crash
I wanna feel the capsize
I wanna feel the bomb drop, the earth stop
'Til I'm satisfied
I wanna feel the car crash
'Cause I'm dyin' on the inside
I wanna let go and know
That I'll be alright, alright

I think it is fitting given the recent Duke University study that says we have fewer friends and confidants than Americans did 20-30 years ago. We are wealthier than we have ever been. We are more in control of our lives than we have ever been. We know more than we have ever known. We are more connected then we have ever been. Yet we are lonely. We miss that touch. Why? Why are we lonely?

I am a huge Scrubs fan. I have 134 of the 145 episodes on my DVR. I am not going to go into why I love the show so much. I am just going to show you one scene (it's worth the 2 minutes):

When I first saw this in January, I sent the link to my friend CJ and told him:

I wish you watched Scrubs so you would get this and not think it is weird/gay/ridiculous, but since [my girlfriend at the time] calls you my gay lover and [your wife] calls our friendship "special," I dedicate this video to you

Let's be honest. I would be JD because I am nerdy, quirky, and can't seem to stabilize a relationship. And CJ would be Turk because he's as cool and smooth as a black guy, and married with a kid.

My & CJ's friendship reminds me of David and Jonathan's in the Bible. I would probably be David because I am the one most likely to do something immoral sexually and then murder someone to cover it up. But the Bible says that at the news of Jonathan's death David said, "Your love for me was wonderful, more wonderful than that of women."

Jonathan died before David had an affair with Bathsheba and then murdered Uriah to cover it up, only to be outed by Nathan. But I have a feeling that if Jonathan was alive, it wouldn't have changed anything. CJ knows I am not perfect. And not just in a generic, "we all sinners" kind of way. He knows I am not perfect. And inversely, I know he isn't perfect. But it doesn't change anything. If anything, it is why I love him more.

David and Jonathan weren't living in a "Crash" world. And as wealthy, and knowledgeable, and connected, and in-control my life gets, it is the guy love and connectedness I find with CJ (and others) that makes this life satisfying and full.

Home Sweet Home - A trip down memory lane

Today I helped my sister-in-law paint her new home.  Well, I'll be honest, I only helped paint the kitchen because I've been working on the youth's new website.  But anyways, I helped.  As I was painting the kitchen, I remembered my first home and how scared/excited I was to be buying it at the age of 19 (I tried to find some pictures of it, but for some reason the only good photo I could come up with was from a small group super-bowl party).

I will never forget my first house, as I'm sure my sister-in-law will never forget her first house, but it wasn't the house that made it memorable. It was experiencing it with my best friend. Andrea and I made that home our own, and as we continue to do so in our second house (below), we find it has different memories - mostly of Jadyn, but others as well. I hope my sister-in-law finds similar experiences with her first home as well.