Why Do We Want To Grow Up So Fast?

I came across this video online and, aside from being an incredibly funny video, I think it has a lot of good stuff to say. Why do we all want to grow up so fast?

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The Small Things In Life

Don't get me wrong, I love my job, but as is the case with any job, regardless of how much you love it, things don't always go your way. Today was one of those days where things just didn't seem to click and as a result, a LONG Wednesday it was.

However, that changed quickly.

While finishing up some things late at work, I noticed footsteps approach my office. I turned around, fully expecting my boss, but instead I found my little girl standing in the doorway, asking for candy. Andrea and Jade went out for a walk to town and Jade decided to walk into Daddy's office right off the street.

I was instantly in a better mood, just like that.

Then, when I got home, I hopped on my computer to catch up on some of the blogs I follow. As I click on Brad Ruggle's blog through my RSS reader, I noticed my mug on his blog! As it turns out, I was his 100th subscriber and, as a gift, he sent me a $10 iTunes gift card. How cool is that? The weird thing is I don't know Brad at all. I came across his blog through my old youth pastor's blog - Pat Rolwand. Brad is into media arts, so I've enjoyed following his blog. Check it out at http://www.bradruggles.com/

The best part about all of this is that these are, in the grand scheme of things, two very small parts of an otherwise very full day. Still, they were able to turn my "bad day" into a more enjoyable one. I love that about life.

I'm slowly learning it's the small things in life that make all the difference.

Another Nice Day

While Roanoke doesn't have all of life's cool and exciting activities to offer those that grace its streets, it does offer visitors a nice peaceful place to simply exist. Jade loves walking to town and is starting to act like she owns the place.

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Guest Blogger, Andy Borgmann - Guy Love? Crash Into Me? Loneliness in America

Andy Borgmann, Producer of The Allen Hunt Show, is one of my few very close friends - has been for a very long time - will be for an even longer time. I've been wanting to blog about how friendship has impacted my view on the world, but when he posted this blog below, I decided he said it best and that I would copy it directly in my blog. Besides, we all know that I was the one that got Andy blogging (and don't even pretend you don't remember, Borgmann - Hilton Head trip man - that's all you did that whole week was set up your blog!)

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Guy Love? Crash Into Me? Loneliness in America

On Friday night we had a "Tiffany turns 27" / "Andy bought a house in November" party. At one point there were about 35 people there. This surprised me because a.) I didn't think 35 people could fit it my tiny townhome, and b.) it took until 10:30 before somebody showed up that I didn't know.

It got me thinking though. It got me thinking about the movie trailer I saw in 2004 for Crash. I loved that movie. It was a movie about LA and racism. It was unique and brilliant. But it is a line from the trailer, which had relatively little to do with race, that had me hooked. The line was, "In LA, nobody touches you...I think we miss that touch so much that we crash into each other just that we can feel something." I lived in LA. I know this to be true. But it isn't just LA - it's everywhere.

In September I downloaded a song called Car Crash by Matt Nathanson out of the iTunes free single of the week section. I don't normally do this because the music usually sucks, but this one sparked my interest for some reason. It's lyrics are thoughtful. The chorus in particular:

I wanna feel the car crash
I wanna feel the capsize
I wanna feel the bomb drop, the earth stop
'Til I'm satisfied
I wanna feel the car crash
'Cause I'm dyin' on the inside
I wanna let go and know
That I'll be alright, alright

I think it is fitting given the recent Duke University study that says we have fewer friends and confidants than Americans did 20-30 years ago. We are wealthier than we have ever been. We are more in control of our lives than we have ever been. We know more than we have ever known. We are more connected then we have ever been. Yet we are lonely. We miss that touch. Why? Why are we lonely?

I am a huge Scrubs fan. I have 134 of the 145 episodes on my DVR. I am not going to go into why I love the show so much. I am just going to show you one scene (it's worth the 2 minutes):

When I first saw this in January, I sent the link to my friend CJ and told him:

I wish you watched Scrubs so you would get this and not think it is weird/gay/ridiculous, but since [my girlfriend at the time] calls you my gay lover and [your wife] calls our friendship "special," I dedicate this video to you

Let's be honest. I would be JD because I am nerdy, quirky, and can't seem to stabilize a relationship. And CJ would be Turk because he's as cool and smooth as a black guy, and married with a kid.

My & CJ's friendship reminds me of David and Jonathan's in the Bible. I would probably be David because I am the one most likely to do something immoral sexually and then murder someone to cover it up. But the Bible says that at the news of Jonathan's death David said, "Your love for me was wonderful, more wonderful than that of women."

Jonathan died before David had an affair with Bathsheba and then murdered Uriah to cover it up, only to be outed by Nathan. But I have a feeling that if Jonathan was alive, it wouldn't have changed anything. CJ knows I am not perfect. And not just in a generic, "we all sinners" kind of way. He knows I am not perfect. And inversely, I know he isn't perfect. But it doesn't change anything. If anything, it is why I love him more.

David and Jonathan weren't living in a "Crash" world. And as wealthy, and knowledgeable, and connected, and in-control my life gets, it is the guy love and connectedness I find with CJ (and others) that makes this life satisfying and full.

I Am One Spoiled (But Lucky) Man!

My wife irons all my dress shirts (I wear a shirt and tie everyday to work) and pants, cooks my food, cleans my house and still lets me crash on the couch and do nothing but watch TV after work....I am the luckiest guy in the freaking world!!!

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Sent from my Treo smartphone

A Long Night And Old Friends

I was up until 3:00 this morning finishing the youth website and a video for church. Needless to say, I was dead tired going to church. I ran into a few old friends of mine who wanted to go out to eat with me, my wife and my daughter. Isn't it great to have friends who come in and save the day without even knowing it?

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sent from my wireless handheld device

Home Sweet Home - A trip down memory lane

Today I helped my sister-in-law paint her new home.  Well, I'll be honest, I only helped paint the kitchen because I've been working on the youth's new website.  But anyways, I helped.  As I was painting the kitchen, I remembered my first home and how scared/excited I was to be buying it at the age of 19 (I tried to find some pictures of it, but for some reason the only good photo I could come up with was from a small group super-bowl party).

I will never forget my first house, as I'm sure my sister-in-law will never forget her first house, but it wasn't the house that made it memorable. It was experiencing it with my best friend. Andrea and I made that home our own, and as we continue to do so in our second house (below), we find it has different memories - mostly of Jadyn, but others as well. I hope my sister-in-law finds similar experiences with her first home as well.

Big Head Fridays

Have you ever had one of those weeks where your heads feels like it is continually growing and that your neck may snap?  Well, that was this week for me.  What a freaking stressful week - but now it is over and my little girl is trying to pull me away from my computer so she can push me in my "rolly" chair around the house....I can feel my head shrinking back to normal size.......ahhhhhh

What A Week

The weather has sucked the last few days.  Three inches of melted snow along with 2 days of rain causes some serious issues.  As I drove into work on Wednesday, I ran to the local coffee hut to grab a quick drink and noticed that one of the roads was barricaded off.  I didn't even notice why as I tried to navigate a different route (not hard in a small town, but hey, it was early).  As I finally made way to my parking space, I noticed water rushing through the once quiet "stream" next to the lot.  I instantly pulled up the weather on my phone and realized it was going to be a long day for some families in the area.  

Later in the afternoon, I received a call from our Director of Loss control asking that I be "on call" in case we needed to sandbag the office.  Fortunately, the rising tide subsided and I was never called to duty, but it made me think briefly of the madness of Katrina.  I watched a LOT of news coverage of that event as it happened a little before Jadyn was born.  I found myself glued to the TV in the birthing room I was stationed in for the weekend.  I couldn't believe the destruction created from Mother Nature.  While the high waters in small town Indiana came no where near the destruction of Katrina, I was still reminded of how small I really am in this powerful world.

Top photo of CR 1100N (Herald-Press/Ben Hopper)

Bottom photo of Katrina Destruction (New York Times)

Fear For The First Time

Well, tonight was our first trip to the Emergency room. Jadyn was running around the house, like she always does, laughing the entire way. Only this time, she slipped and nailed her head on the corner of her toy box. My heart dropped when I heard it and as Andrea picked her up, we both gasped as the blood ran down her face and the tears started to form. Both of us knew this was worthy of an emergency room visit. We have had accidents before, but nothing like this.

I dropped Andrea and Jadyn off at the emergency room entrance and then went to park. As I walked in, Andrea tells me that there are 7 people ahead of us. I thought to myself, surely they'll bump us up the list - after all its late and we've got a 2 year old with a bloody forehead -- right? WRONG - 4 hours later we are finally meeting with the Dr. who tells us she needs stitches (uhh...yeah...we kinda knew that.....).

They rigged her up so she couldn't move, but Andrea and I had to hold her down. This was difficult for both Andrea and I - but especially me. After all, I'm her dad - I'm supposed to protect her. Try explainin to a 2 year old girl that even though she is wrapped up like a mummy, and needles are piercing her skin, that this is for the best - it will all be better. There was no way for Andrea and I to do that. They covered up her eyes, probably so she couldn't see that they were doing anything to her as she was numb, but she could still tell that something was going on and cried out for both Mommy and Daddy. In one particular moment, when the cover of her eyes slipped a little bit, we locked eyes and I could see the extreme and utter fear in her eyes. It was almost unbearable. Andrea and I continued to talk to her so she knew we were there she eventually calmed down. She is a VERY strong girl and made her Daddy proud with the way she handled it all.

I know most parents make at least ONE visit to the Emergency room with their kids, but I hope I never have to do that again. Fear is a powerful phenomenon for most adults - I can't imagine what was going on in her mind as she was experiencing true fear for the first time.

Hard Work Yields Corporate Success

This has been one long and tiring month. The start of the year is always stressful. Even though I had a great year in 07, my results can no longer carry me in 08; it's a new year with new production goals. Having said that, I am strangely fueled by the challenge. I'm a rather competitive guy, so I enjoy taking on challenges and proving myself. Now that I have two beautiful girls at home depending on me, my drive to succeed is even greater.

Being rewarded for hard work is wonderful. In my job, if you hit your numbers you are rewarded - it's as easy as that. For my wife, and many others out there in the world, it is not the same; hard work cannot be measured by a number at the end of the day. My wife does not have a year-end evaluation, nor does she have monthly production meetings to measure where she's at compared to goal. But she works hard just the same. I think of my high school youth pastor and the amount of time and energy he poured into his students. I think of the professors that spent so much time outside of class, teaching me things that could not be found in a text book. Parenting has helped me appreciate all the hard work my parents put into raising me. Hard work produces results. Maybe not the exact result you want, maybe not even a measurable result, but it produces results - I'm a firm believer in that and hope that my kids can have the same kind of people influencing their life as I did growing up.

This past week, my hard work was rewarded as I was promoted to Assistant Vice President after 2.5 years with the company. When I started right out of college, I knew nothing about insurance or risk management, but I was willing to bust my butt to learn it, and made sure I absorbed every bit of knowledge I could from everyone I worked with. I don't say this to "toot my own horn" as that is not the purpose of this post. Sure, I am proud of my accomplishment, but at the end of the day, a title means nothing if you don't back it up with continued hard work.  At age 25, I don't have much of life figured out, but I do know that much.

Powerful Words

I just put Jadyn down for bed tonight. I read a few books, tickled her a little bit just to hear her laugh, and then told her that "it's time for bed, babe." She then says "OK" in the sweetest voice you've ever heard and proceeds to snuggle up next to me. I noticed that she didn't have her socks on so I told her that I was going to grab some socks, to which she replied, in the same sweet voice, "OK." As I finished putting on her last sock, I told her that Daddy was going to leave so she could go to sleep - again another "OK." I leaned in to give her a kiss goodnight and tell her I love you but instead, she said it first and then leaned in to give ME a kiss. There is something so completely pure about a child stating those words. There is no societal blur of the word, no false promises or empty offers - just pure, love. Some pretty powerful words from a pretty powerful little girl.

Knocked Up....Again

Andrea and I are now officially letting everyone know that #2 is on the way. It's funny how different all the same "stages" of pregnancy are. Don't get me wrong, we are EXTREMELY excited, but we've done this before, so it doesn't have the same "new car scent" as it did the first time around.

For one, and an obvious one at that, we now have Jadyn. I often wonder, as an oldest child myself, what kind of oldest child she will be. How will she handle having to share mommy? What about the "big sis" role she must now play and all the the added responsibilities that come with that?

Additionally, Andrea and I are now 5 years into our marriage and work as a team much better than we did a few years ago. We no longer have the added stresses of finding a new home or starting a full time job right out of a college - or even the stress of moving to a single income. We are more settled and comfortable with where we are in life.

Finally, I'm a Dad already. Sure, I was a "dad" during the first pregnancy, but not in the same way that I am now. Having Jadyn has changed my whole perspective on life, my approach to this pregnancy and the new life that is about to hit our world.

Let's just hope its a boy so we can even out the gender ratio in our house - I already feel terribly outnumbered.

Back To Work

I love coming back from vacation or business trips. The drive/flight home especially. I normally fly out of Fort Wayne, so I've got about 15-20 minutes before I get home. It is actually perfect - just enough time to unwind from the trip and pull myself out of business mode and back into father/husband role. I often times think about what Jade will do when she knows Daddy is home, or where Andrea may be in the house as I arrive and what candle she has burning. It is great to have that to come home to.

Coming back from Vacation isn't always easy. I'm a bit of an anomaly because I love my job and love to get back and do it. However, it is also interesting to think that the only way a vacation can be a vacation is if it comes to an end. If it never ends, it becomes your norm. We had a great time together as a family, but it is great to be back in the wonderful norm that I find myself in. I'm not sure that any vacation could pull me away from that.

Me? Relax?

Above is the view I've got from my hammock. This has been the first vacation I've been on since starting full time that didn't involve:
1. Checking in at the office every few hours
2. Spending at least 1 hour of the trip on a conference call.
3. Trying to close at least 3 accounts (I say 3 because I'm trying to close 2 this week)
4. Taking 2 hours out of each night to check e-mail and do a little work.

It has been great so far. I think the main reason for the change is the week in which I have taken off. January is typically a slow month in the Entertainment world.

I think we'll have to do more vacations during this time of year....

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I'm Now That Parent - End of Disney Day One

Tonight ended like most nights back home. Andrea and Jadyn fell asleep long before I even became tired. However, the difference was that tonight, I realized something on the way home from dinner....

Jadyn had a VERY long day. Up at 6:30 am, no nap and a lot of sitting didn't help either. On the bus ride back from dinner, Jadyn started screaming/yelling/crying for no real reason other than the fact that she was very, very, very tired. In fact, take out the 10 minute ride from hell and Jadyn behaved beautifully. She was the sweetest little girl and EVERYONE around us noticed.

Sidenote - Jadyn screamed "I love you" to the Disney employee that greeted us at the airport as we walked to our shuttle ride - weird huh? She did it to our waitress tonight too...

Anyways, as Jadyn is causing the whole bus to jam bamboo under their fingernails and pull their hair out, I realized that I am now that parent that I had always looked at and thought "poor guy - can't control his misbehaved kid....sucks to be him." All the while thinking, at the same time of course, "SHUT THAT KID UP!" What a change in perspective. Jade was tired, had a long day, and more importantly, is just a 2 year old. I wanted to stand up and yell "she's just a kid, cut her some slack" to everyone that had the "SHUT THAT KID UP" look on their face, but I didn't because half of them still wouldn't get it.

Andrea was awesome with her. I don't know how she can have a screaming child squirm on her lap for 10 minutes without loosing her cool. She is a great mom (probably a better wife for putting up with me the past 5 years). I, on the other hand, wanted to jump out the window.

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To Be 2 Again

Tonight we had to make a quick shopping trip before we leave for Disney. This was the first shopping trip I've been on with Jadyn in a long time. It was crazy! People who take their kids shopping with them are nuts. She was all over the place. The best part was that she was seriously excited to be there. She loved it. She jumped in and out of the tiles (above photo) and played hide-and-go-seek (2nd photo) - all while running down all the walkways yelling "I did it!".

Wouldn't it be nice to be 2 again? No worries of production goals, gas money or taking out the trash. Limited stress with excessive joy. Kinda makes me wonder why we aren't taking her to Wal-Mart instead of Disney......

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